Borderline's POV (point of view) is the outcome of her internal dynamics, especially the compulsive need to approach and then avoid you.
Here is how she sees you:
APPROACH
You are my world and life You will save me from myself and from others Everything is meaningless without you You are a stable rock You stabilize my moods and regulate my emotions, with you I feel safe and whole (completed) I will give my life for you (self-sacrificial) I am bad and evil (bad object) but with you I feel good and worthy because you accept and love me as I am
AVOIDANCE
I am overwhelmed by pain owing to your rejection and abandonment (often projected and anticipated): you are not protective, you don’t care, you found someone else to take my place, You are disloyal, You are looking for alternatives Dissociation (amnesia, auto-pilot depersonalization, derealization) I have to do something, anything to hurt you and then regain your love You want me dead, shackled, only yours, to disappear into you You have changed, You blame-shift, I am the victim You guilt-trip You are not self-aware: You are self-destructive and you want to drag me with you You are just after my sex, looks Paranoid ideation, persecutory object: You lie, deceive, and cheat, You are out to get me, You entrapped me, You never mean what you say, You gaslight me, You hate me while I love you self-sacrificially, You humiliate me and shame me, you are malicious
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